Your Brain's GPS

Emotional energy is made up of neural electrical impulses firing in the brain. The brain communicate with the body through the nervous systemThe nervous system directly or indirectly touches upon every structure, system and operation of the body.

 For thousands of years, humans learned from emotional experiences and incorporated those memories for survival – i.e. When I encounter an animal that wants to eat me, the emotional energy of fear arises. The emotion of fear induces me to take action; either running away or fighting. Likewise, the fragrance and color of a fruit motivates the emotional and sensory energy of pleasure and I eat the fruit. “Emotions are the GPS of our lives” says Dr. Julia DiGangi, neuropsychologist and author of Energy Rising – The Neuroscience of Leading with Emotional Power.

Further, Dr. DiGangi introduces the concept of self-division. Each of us has a brain with a feeling and behavioral system. When I ignore my emotions and what they are telling me about my current experience, I have self- divided. When I self-divide, my feeling and behavioral systems are going in the opposite directions – I have a broken GPS system. It’s like trying to fly a single plane in two opposite directions; it’s impossible to get anywhere. Self-division results in me not trusting myself because what I am feeling inside is the opposite of what I am actually doing.

For example, imagine I’m at an airline counter, asking the agent what my options are because my flight was canceled. I end the conversation quickly, not getting all the information I need, because I feel badly taking up too much time, as there are lots of people who need assistance. I have put my worthiness below the needs of others. Internally, I learn that I can’t trust myself to take care of myself.

 Clarification – Dr. DiGangi is not referring to situations of physical or emotional danger. Danger may require emotions and actions to not be aligned. Further, I acknowledge not everyone has the   privilege to align their feeling and behavioral systems.

Dr. DiGangi goes on to say “the brain is a pattern maker”. It’s wired to prefer patterns over uncertainty. Even when an existing emotional pattern is not healthy; the brain still prefers that, over uncertainty. Uncertainty requires a lot of brain energy – the brain wants to figure out what the new pattern needs to be or it’s using a lot of energy in resistance towards the possibility of a having to establish a new pattern.

For example, If I have set a pattern of abandoning myself through self- division, because of my emotional feeling of unworthiness, the internal strife of that emotion will feel really bad, almost painful.  But it’s a pain I am familiar with. The uncertainty of what will happen if I don’t self-divide is a greater pain.

 Sustained uncertainty embeds itself into the physical body.  One example of this is the fascia system. The fascia system surrounds and is in between all the cells of the body – including those of the nervous system. Emotional energy impacts the nervous system, which then causes the fascia it’s connected to, to constrict and twist. Fascial restrictions in any part of the body ripple throughout the body, causing restrictions in seemingly unrelated places. The emotions result in tension, misalignment, poor gut health, vagus nerve damage, anxiousness, teeth grinding, seizing up of back muscles, compression of the nerves around the eyes, and a bunch more potential symptoms within the body.

Dr. DiGangi’s work has found that the majority of people’s core emotion that they will do anything to avoid feeling is humiliation/ shame/embarrassment/ defensiveness/ unworthiness. Whichever word it is, is irrelevant – the brain has the exact same chemical reaction as it’s the emotion that the brain is focusing on; not the nuances between definitions of humiliation and embarrassment. Wanting to avoid humiliation at all costs results in people behaving in some very self-divisive ways. But, if you can have the courage to feel how shame is arising as a feeling, that frees up energy and creates space for authentic behavior, which is in line with one’s values. This is CRUCIAL. WE ARE LEARING HOW TO TRUST OURSELVES.

 We are all a collection of emotional parts. It’s not a zero -sum game. We can hold space for parts of us that feel unworthy/ defensive/ shame AND also parts of us that feel a good emotion. It’s not about stopping the negative emotion – it’s about recognizing it and noticing HOW it impacts our behavior in ways that result in self-dividing. It’s about noticing how we’re trying to fly in two opposite directions. Self- dividing is stressful, debilitating and uncomfortable. Self-dividing uses a lot of energy. Energy that could be used  in much better ways.  

I found that I had self- divided for so long, that I didn’t trust myself to take care of myself. When I started showing up for myself, I felt pride AND uncomfortable – making a new brain pattern is like that. Some others were vested in me continuing to self-divide as it benefitted them.  I found that those who love me, support me not self -dividing.

How do I learn to trust my innate GPS again? What can I do about self-division and uncertainty?

1.Recognize when and why you are self-dividing

Change starts with awareness. Simply start noticing when you are self-dividing. Ask yourself, why am I doing that? What is the emotion that is so painful that I am hiding from it? What would have been another way for me to be in that situation?

 2. Start small

Practice not engaging in self-division in a low stake situation; one that makes you uncomfortable, emotionally, but not so uncomfortable that it’s overwhelming.  Stick to the same one on a consistent basis and don’t stop doing it.  YOU ARE PRACTICING A NEW BRAIN PATTERN AND YOU ARE TEACHING YOUR BRAIN TO TRUST YOUR INNATE GPS.

An example: my sister talks for hours about herself. I love my sister.  I know she has challenges. I never feel like I am a good enough sister. I react to her phone calls by either giving in and letting her talk way too long or by cutting her off – both ways I am self-dividing. 

I set a boundary of 15 -minute calls and remind her, at the start, I get to speak too. This has made our conversations better! 15 minutes is the emotional capacity of my brain to be present with her and to not engage in self-division behavior. What I am saying is that I can’t stop the feeling of shame at not being a good enough sister. But I can acknowledge my emotion of shame AND choose an action (and stick with it) that allows my behavior to be authentic to me. To not self-divide. To rewire a pattern in my brain.

3. Reset and Regulate the systems of the body- Craniosacral and lymphatic drainage

All of my issues have led me to my life’s work. 🙂 I get treatments myself on a regular basis. I chose to learn and offer these methods because they work. I can’t possibly have the courage to sit with my shame, if my body is misaligned. It’s just a lot to ask of oneself. And from my own experience, I know how my habit of  self- dividing lessens when my physical, emotional and energetic body are smoothed out and in alignment.

Our brains receive internal and external input constantly. The brain interprets information, distills it into an emotion and then sends it back into the body via the nervous system, to take an action. Emotions are the GPS system. We are fortunate to experience the full range of emotions.

 We are wired to be in connection with ourselves and others. Sometimes that’s where the GPS system breaks down. In trying to guide ourselves and in also trying to move in the direction someone else wants of us, it’s just too much. As humans, we are always better when we acknowledge our emotional core truths and choose an action that supports our needs and honors the other in a compassionate way,  with integrity and conscious action.